It’s good to know the ins and outs of how and why something works when you’re learning a new skill. In teaching martial arts I would explain how to do a particular move and why it should be done a certain way. “Move this way with your whole body, where you are at your strongest, against this point on your opponent, where they are weakest.” There are many ways to do something but usually there’s one way that is more efficient and effective than others. That’s what we were all trying to learn.

Ah-ha or Analysis Paralysis

It was very common to see students have an “Ah-ha!” look on their faces as they became enlightened to a new way of thinking and moving. It was also just as common to see them over-think something. By doing so they got stuck and were unable to succeed. If they thought harder and examined everything in detail it got worse. They went from being stuck, to being hopelessly mired in ‘trying’ rather than ‘doing’.

During a seminar, one instructor held out his hand that had a leaf sitting on it. He would call someone up in front of class and say, “I want you to try and grab this.” If they grabbed the leaf he would admonish them, “No, you grabbed it. I said try to grab it.” Of course they would then make a weak attempt to move their hand towards the leaf but not pick it up. His point was that by trying most of us only make a half-hearted attempt that really doesn’t have much of a chance at success. Like Yoda in the Star Wars movies, “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Entering in

The martial art of Aikido uses the term “irimi” which is commonly interpreted as “to enter” but the more accurate definition is “To enter without fear”. In other words it means to act decisively in the face of an attack. It’s not blindly charging in, but cutting in and thru your opponent with your mind’s intent as much as your body. By doing so you increase the odds of success, but even if you fail there’s no regrets as you’ve acted with your entire being to do this one thing.

When it comes to the black dog it’s time to enter without fear. Refuse to be held hostage by your fear. Acknowledge it, feel it, see it for what it is - it will pass. It’s no more than a cloud. No matter how big, dark and full of lightening and thunder it is, always remember it will eventually fade and go away. You’ll be okay. The time is now, your direction is clear, now act!

Many martial arts students don’t like to spar in class. They don’t want to hurt anyone or get hurt themselves. That’s very understandable and very human. What we find though is the ‘thought’ or ‘fear’ of getting hurt is almost always much worse than actually getting hit. Well, the black dog is an expert at playing this card and making you think you’re up against Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris and Mike Tyson combined. You are not.

To get better you have to act. No therapy, therapist, medicine, or other treatments will work unless you decide to make the changes in your life to get better. Make the changes now. You may not feel like you can do it, but you can. No one else can do it for you so get up even when you don’t want to. Get up even when it hurts and you struggle. Refuse to give in. I know it’s hard when your black dog is pressing down on you but don’t give yourself the choice of not acting. You can’t afford to shrink and wither from life, no matter how much crap has been thrown your way. You are stronger than you know.

Get up and exercise even when you’d rather stay on the couch. Go out with a friend or family member even when your bed is calling. Go outside or sit in front of your full spectrum light even when the you think all you can do is curl up in front of the television in the dark. Drive right past the fast food and pick up something healthy at the grocery store.

You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought.

It’s okay to think through the ‘how’ and the ‘why’ of your black dog . . . to a point, but don’t over-think it. If there’s issues to be dealt with then deal with them. Like worrying about getting hit, the fear is much more painful than doing what you need to do.

When I think about my daughter and try to figure out why we’re estranged all I get is sad. There comes a time with black dogs when all thinking about ‘why’ does is keep it alive. It’s an addictive process. You think you can apply all of the reasoning ability that you would normally apply to any problem to solve it. It doesn’t seem to work that way. Reasoning just sucks you into rumination and so reinforces a way of thinking that keeps you depressed. It’s as though your mind is a blank record (that dates me) and each time you ruminate over your black dog it cuts grooves into the record (your mind) ever deeper until it becomes very difficult for your mind to play any other tune.

When you find yourself over-thinking things take a step back, take a deep breath and enter in without fear . . . or maybe in spite of it. Do what you need to do to get better. Now.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007 at 8:54 pm and is filed under anxiety.