In light of my recent job woes I’ve been reading a lot of books about changing your career and finding your life’s calling. A lot of the techniques that career/life coaches use are very similar to aspects of TLC. The following are just a few of the insights I’ve picked up from these books and how they fit in with TLC and other anti-depression strategies.

1. Set a Goal. When you lose your job rather than looking at what you’ve left behind and seeing a loss (steady income, insurance, retirement, etc.) - see yourself moving forward, towards something better where your interests and strengths lay. When you do something you love and that you’re good at, the money will naturally follow and oftentimes it will be more than the ’safe’ job you’ve stuck with for so long.

Black dogs love to look behind you at the past all the while whispering in your ear, “If only . . .” They will do anything to keep you mired and stuck. What TLC practices do is get you focused on what’s ahead - your goal of health and well being. Keep that at the forefront so that when you don’t feel like getting out of bed, eating a healthy diet, exercising, etc. - tell yourself “I may not want to do this now but I will because I want to get better.”

2. Have a clear plan & give yourself a time line for implementing it. You’ve set a goal - starting a new business, going back to school, selling art, being a writer, etc. Now you need to write down the steps it will take to get there, i.e. if you want to go back to school, then you need to check out the school(s), talk to a guidance counselor, look at financing it & maybe get a loan, enroll in school, etc.

TLC gives you a clear plan that’s easy to implement. By yourself or with the aid of family, friends or a counselor you can start practicing right away.

• Buy some Omega-3 fish oil & start taking it every day.
• Start exercising 3 to 4 times a week (Always check with your doctor first!). If you’re out of shape you can start by walking and building up to fast walking, jogging and then running - or other cardio exercise.
• Get outside or buy a special lamp and get lots of light exposure. When you find yourself ruminating start questioning yourself & what you’re thinking. When you notice black dog thoughts tell yourself, “STOP!” and think of something else, get up and do something different - anything to distract yourself.
• Even though you don’t feel like it, start to socialize more. If you don’t have any family or friends nearby then try going to places you’re interested in - an art gallery, museum, sporting event, church/religious services, etc.

The point is to DO IT. If you can’t manage to do it all at once then do one new thing a week and add another new practice every week until you’re doing all of them. Above all - NEVER GIVE UP. Keep doing them even when you don’t think they’re working or when they do work & you feel better and think you don’t need them anymore!

Print off the form to start keeping track of your progress here.

3. Surround yourself with positive people & messages. Listen to motivational/educational tapes & programs to develop & maintain a positive attitude, keep your mind sharp and thus keep your momentum moving forward towards your goal.

Once the black dog starts the ruminative ball rolling it’s very easy to let it snowball. Your mood darkens and you feel enveloped by a black cloud. By listening/reading to motivation tapes/books and socializing with positive minded people you’re helping to break out of the depressive mindset.

Believe me, I never was one to appreciate those folks who seemed unnaturally ‘UP’ all the time. I thought they weren’t living in the real world and that my sophisticated sarcastic sense of humor (say that fast 10 times) was much more grounded in reality. In fact I seemed to have an affinity for like minded people. There’s a reason why “Misery loves company” - we nurture each other’s black dog. Well, the reality is if you have depression you can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought. You don’t have to put on a fake smile and laugh. All you have to do is start re-framing how you view things and one way to do that is through exposing yourself to positive ideas & opinions. You may resist it at first but over time you’ll learn a new, positive way of thinking. If misery is contagious, why can’t happiness be too? Watching a comedy movie is much more fun in a crowded theater than at home alone.

4. Be willing to take risks. Nothing in life is completely safe & secure. No one lays on their death bed wishing they’d done less with their life. If you have talent as a writer, artist, manager, providing excellent customer service, etc. then you can maximize your chances of success while minimizing your risks by focusing on what you do well.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin

Up to this point the desire for safety & security has caused me to almost always take the ’safe’ road. I have a very stable work history, spending at least 10 years at jobs I didn’t enjoy. I rationalized that I had to for the kids, for the house payment, the insurance, etc. Doing that has probably caused me more suffering and heartache than anything else in my life. Couple this with indecision and you have a recipe for disaster. Nothing is more depressing than a life full of regrets . . . “if only I had taken that job, started my dream business, married that woman, etc.” If you never take a risk, you’ll get what you’ve always had. Aren’t you ready to bloom?

5. Balance your life. You are more than your job. Don’t ignore the other areas of your life as they are equally, if not more important. Family, Social, Spiritual/Religious, Physical, Financial, Education (informal & formal), Interests/Hobbies, Personal Development, etc. These are like spokes on wheel of life; the more you have the stronger the wheel. If one breaks (you loose your job) the wheel of your life will still be supported by all of the other ’spokes’.

This model was actually one that was used in the TLC program and it scared the hell out of me because I realized that over the years I’ve let all of these areas slide. Family problems, lack of personal development, no social life, don’t go to church or the meditation center, etc. It’s very easy for anyone to slide into a rut of working, coming home, eating dinner, watch t.v. go to bed and repeat it all the next day. If you’re walking a black dog this kind of rut is almost a given. It’s time for me to rebuild my life, how about you?

The good thing is the TLC program will get you up and feeling better so that you are able to start paying more attention to these areas. You can combine socializing with friends or family while you’re out exercising, playing a game, having a picnic, visiting a museum or just going for a walk. You can get your light therapy, reconnect with people and get exercise all at once.

What does everyone have the same of, but no one thinks they have enough of? Time of course. Make the time for yourself. Push yourself. Take the path of action. You can get better.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 4th, 2008 at 8:53 pm and is filed under therapeutic lifestyle changes T.L.C..