So much of what we do to avoid the pain and suffering of walking a black dog is simply to withdraw. We withdraw from friends & family, pleasant activities, from life itself. It’s very easy to justify. We tell ourselves we don’t feel up to it, don’t deserve it, don’t have the psychic energy to do it. Of course you don’t feel like doing anything, your black dog is smothering you, but by giving in to it you’re actually making it worse.

So how do we stop accommodating the beast?

1. Feel like staying in bed, on the couch or just not involving yourself in the day? - Don’t do it. Do just the opposite. Get up, get out and do something, anything. Walk around your neighborhood, play with the kids, go to a movie, etc.

2. When the rumination starts, divert your attention. Rather than give in to all the memories that just pull you down, do something that will divert your thoughts. When you become aware that you’re ruminating, tell yourself “Stop” and involve yourself with a task or some activity that forces you to think of something else. Read a book or newspaper, do a puzzle, play a game, etc. Talk to friends or family - make sure you talk about anything but your problems. It’s fine to vent sometimes but it’s too easy for it to keep things fresh in your mind and reinforce your depression.

3. When your co-workers, friends, family etc. invite you out for lunch, dinner or some other activity - go. It’s very easy to come up with an excuse to not go, but that’s only giving in to the blues. Being around others and engaging in conversation is an important part of recovering. It’s one of the cornerstones of the TLC program.

4. Don’t care how you look - put the old clothes you’ve been wearing way too long in the wash (or trash). Buy your favorite shampoo, soap, cologne/perfume and take a long hot shower. Pamper yourself. Get your hair done.

5. When you don’t feel like you deserve to feel good or enjoy yourself - Get a massage, go out to dinner at your favorite restaurant, treat yourself to whatever you’ve been putting off because you’re down on yourself - so long as it’s not harmful, i.e. don’t blow money you don’t have, don’t abuse drugs/alcohol, etc. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Maybe it’s just a matter of buying a sandwich at your favorite deli, browsing books at the library or bookstore, visiting a gallery or museum, window shopping, going to a baseball game, etc.

6. All you want to eat is junk, highly refined carbohydrates? Stop. When you shop in the grocery store stick to the perimeter where the fresh produce is. Eat more fruit, vegetables and complex carbohydrates. Stay away from sugar and caffeine. Drink more water.

7. When you find yourself arranging your day around your black dog - kick it outside and continue your day (to the best of your ability) like you used to before it came along.

8. De-clutter and clean your house. Open up the blinds on the windows and if it’s nice outside, open the windows. Organizing and cleaning your living space will help lighten the mood. The art of Feng Shui is to optimize the flow of energy (chi) and whether or not you believe in it, there is something to how you feel and the clutter and disorganization in your life & living area.

9. Every day do a few things that give you a sense of accomplishment. It may be as simple as paying a bill and mailing it or getting the long overdue oil changed in your car. I went running one day and a neighbor boy was crying because the chain on his bike came off. I stopped and fixed it for him. His tears stopped, it made me feel good and actually gave me more energy to run.

10. Watch a comedy movie (better if you’re in a theater with others), listen to uplifting music, books on tape/cd. By uplifting I don’t necessarily mean “Up With People” although that’s okay if that’s what you like. I’m referring to avoiding music that reminds you or reinforces your depression. Stay away from sad songs. The idea is to lighten your mood in anyway you can.

You’re probably saying “All of these are easier said than done. My black dog has me weighed down so I can hardly get up in the morning.” Believe me, I understand. Just push yourself and do what you can. Keep up the effort and eventually, combined with TLC, the momentum will shift and you’ll find yourself feeling better.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 14th, 2008 at 5:38 am and is filed under therapeutic lifestyle changes T.L.C..