It was one year ago this month that my mom died suddenly. She was laying down on their couch with her head in my dad’s lap. They were talking when she grew quiet and passed.

In honor of her life here’s a memorial video I made for her funeral followed by her eulogy. It does kind of go against my advice to not engage in sad activities like listening to, watching or reading sad, heart-breaking books, movies & shows, etc. but it’s okay to feel sad so long as we don’t get attached to it. Mom had a very good life and this video celebrates that.

We called her Granny.

I’m Stacey Donovan, her oldest grandchild, so I guess that name started with me. We all called her Granny, but the thing is, she wasn’t your stereotypical Granny. The name “granny” brings to mind a sweet little old lady who dresses kind of dowdy and walks with a cane. Not our Granny.

Granny was a force of life. She was thoughtful, but sweet, no. She wasn’t sweet. She was hilarious. She had this glorious, sarcastic sense of humor that made everyone who knew her want to spend time with her because you knew that even if you were standing in her kitchen watching her making a casserole, you’d be entertained.

She was so loved. She was the center of our family-everyone who came through the door got a kiss and a hug. Almost every holiday was spent at her house, in her kitchen. She was married to the love of her life, Vince Van Sickel, our Poppy, almost 64 years ago and what a life they made. They had 4 children-Jim, my beautiful mom Chrissy, Steve and John. (Incidentally, that she passed on that humorous sarcastic gene to all of them). Granny and Poppy traveled all over the world with their family in tow. She loved being an Army Officer’s wife-she loved the friends they made wherever they went and Lord, did she love the parties! She loved dressing up and going to the parties and she had a special talent for hosting the parties. She loved to cook, loved to bake, loved music and loved to dance.

Granny always believed that if something was worth doing, it was worth doing well. Her house was always immaculate. You could eat off her floor. She had beautiful silver, china, and linens and always set a beautiful table even when it was just us. And the food, that wonderful, amazing food. The meals were from scratch-and there was always dessert. You’d drive for days to have her cherry pie. She never complained about staying up late and getting up early to make one of us something special because she treated every one of us like we were always worth her effort.

It’s so hard to stand here and try to paint a picture of her life-it was so full. She loved Poppy so. He swept her off her feet when she was 17 years old and they never looked back. Together they built this brood that celebrates everything together. There isn’t a holiday the Van Sickels don’t love. I’ve heard it said that we exchange gifts for Arbor Day, but I think that’s a slight exaggeration. Granny loved getting together for any occasion and she believed any time we were together was worth celebrating with a toast-Asti champagne of course.

She loved playing games, especially cards. She could play Canasta like no one’s business. Any grandchild who was willing to sit still long enough was taught the game. And you know what, she cheated. Not the way her mother cheated (or so I’m told) but when she didn’t like the way her hand was going she just messed all the cards up and we started over. But you know, we never really minded, because it just made the game last longer and spending time with her was always a good thing.

She loved to tell stories. She particularly loved to tell stories about her wonderful childhood with her brother big Jim and her baby brother John and her cousin Mackey. When she and her brothers got older, she loved her sisters-in-law Dolly and Margie too. They all vacationed together whenever they could. When they returned, she’d have lots of new stories to tell us of their travels.

We all have our special memories of her. Speaking for the grandchildren, I can tell you that she always knew how to make you feel better. Whether it was taking us to a movie, making our favorite dinner or buying us a new pair of shoes. She was a true believer in retail therapy because she knew from many years of experience that shopping could cure what ailed you. And believe you me, that woman loved to shop. She bought this suit I’m wearing when I passed the bar. “It’s smart,” she told me, “the blue looks nice with your eyes.” She was and still is the most stylish woman I’ve ever known. She was always “put together”, from head to toe. She never left the house without hose or lipstick. She always smelled good too. I don’t think a single on of us will ever be able to take a whiff of Nina Ricci, her signature perfume, and not have memories of her come flooding back to us.

I should not fail to mention that she was a devout Catholic. She would say that she and Poppy didn’t have very much money when they were in the Army, but wherever they went, they made sure they could afford to send my mom and my 3 favorite uncles to Catholic school. She attended mass every Sunday and on the holy days and it truly pained her to give up meat on Fridays. Her faith was so deep that when Ben and Sasha were little, she baptized them while she was giving them a bath. Much to her relief, Ben and Sasha were later officially baptized. She took us all to church with her. She would hold our hands and let us play with her rings when we would fidget. She hoped and prayed that the Church would mean as much to us as it did to her.

As you can tell, I could go on forever about her. I will leave you with this quote that my Uncle Steve found when he was cleaning out her wallet. It was worn and faded, and it was obviously very meaningful to her. It said:

“How many people in a lifetime are there for whom we deeply care? Not so very many. Here is one of mine. We don’t choose them; they simply arrive in our love, and perhaps depart. Yet they bring with them, however briefly, all we know of happiness.”

I can assure you that each and every one of you here came into her life and brought her so much happiness. She devoted her life to making us all feel loved and Granny, we will miss you so.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 pm and is filed under family.