As I sit here typing Cosmo is laying at my feet in her Super Dog pose; belly down with her back legs spread behind and her front legs out front clutching a yogurt cup. She does everything with such gusto. She’s a good reminder of when you do something, just do it.

Like Cosmo’s yogurt cup (Wow, yogurt! For me?), coming across things that bring unexpected pleasure is something that I’ve always enjoyed. Unfortunately it becomes all too rare when you’re walking a black dog. The moments are still there, it’s just the ability to feel pleasure isn’t.

Her name is Cosmo. Kramer’s Cosmic Mojo to be exact. She is the exact opposite of the black dog of depression. Most days she’s better than Prozac, Xanax and a gin & tonic combined. She is an English Bull Terrier which means she’s as close to a living cartoon as is possible. The bulldog part of the breed makes her sleep about 22 hours a day, the terrier in her makes her do bully runs which is the unique way Bull Terriers do their version of ‘rocket dog’. Unlike other dogs who grow out of the rocket dog phase, Cosmo is 8 (officially in the geriatric age group) and still manages a good huckle-butt once or twice a day.

It was one year ago this month that my mom died suddenly. She was laying down on their couch with her head in my dad’s lap. They were talking when she grew quiet and passed.

In honor of her life here’s a memorial video I made for her funeral followed by her eulogy. It does kind of go against my advice to not engage in sad activities like listening to, watching or reading sad, heart-breaking books, movies & shows, etc. but it’s okay to feel sad so long as we don’t get attached to it. Mom had a very good life and this video celebrates that.

When I visited with my father the other day. He was back in his room with the door closed. I knocked but he didn’t answer, so I slid the pocket door open (I love those things) and saw him sitting in a chair in the dark just staring in to space. I always wonder what, if anything, he’s thinking about when I find him like that. Is he going over his life or just zoning out?