For those of you who’ve read my posts you know how central the estrangement from my daughter has been to my depression. I can’t think of anything that’s been so painful for so long. When I think I have a handle on it, I’ll read something, hear a song on the radio, someone will ask about her or something else will happen that makes me think of her and the void I have in my heart.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is a controversial diagnosis but after living through my estrangement and coming across PAS on the internet and reading the signs and symptoms, I can tell you it’s absolutely real. It’s one of the worst and most insidious forms of child abuse.

Here’s a few articles that shed some light on the effects of depression. Use the information as encouragement to keep doing the TLC program so that you can avoid or at least lessen your chances of depression’s heart breaking effects.

Depressed Women at Greater Risk for Heart Disease.

Women Over 40 With Depression May Have Heart Disease Risk

Hold on, depression is an equal opportunity heart breaker.

Depressed Men at Greater Risk of Heart Disease.

We’re not alone. Even celebrities aren’t exempt from the black dog.

Severe Depression Way More Badass Than Nervous Exhasution Juliana Hatfield says.

“This buggy sure is a nice ride.” dad said again and again about my truck. It was just last week when I had picked him up for dinner. He was in a good mood and hardly talked at all about mom or his car that night. He sipped on a Scotch and soda while we talked about a lot of different things. He learned to like Scotch when he was in the Army as it was the drink no one else wanted and hence it was plentiful.

Made it to a full 5 miles the other night. It was a little cooler so that helped. When I started out I felt tired and actually thought about cutting it short but the longer I ran - and ran through my desire to stop - the more energized I felt. I relaxed as best as I could and paid attention to my legs and hips. I experimented with using relaxation as I ran so that my body felt less strain putting one foot in front of the other and pumping my arms back and forth. Moving my legs forward I relaxed the muscles in my hips and quads as soon as I could while still extending my legs in a reasonably good running stride. I did the same with my arms by relaxing my shoulder and holding my arms as loosely as I could while still maintaining a natural running rhythm. In other words I used as little muscular effort as possible while breathing naturally and deeply. It seemed to make all the difference in the world. I also started with a slower pace.

On a lazy summer Tuesday I decided to post a list of interested Black Dog related links. Enjoy

Head Fake, How Prozac sent the science of depression in the wrong direction - thanks to Black Dog reader Jennifer!

6 Ways to De-stress

Sleep Deprivation is not a Badge of Honor

Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?

How to Take a Nap

Top 10 Ways to Relax

6 Tips for Happiness

Low Serotonin Makes for An Unfair Offer You Can Refuse

The Ultimate Guide to Motivation

Yesterday after work, I made a detour to the downtown barber shop where my son Ben works. It’s a great old school barber shop whose walls and ceilings are covered with all manner of sports memorabilia. From newspaper clippings and photos celebrating the local high schools, to college teams and the pros.

Barbershops are a particular right of passage for boys. Aside from the occasional mom with her toddler, it’s a peculiarly male environment and one of the first places where we are exposed to men talking about men stuff - jokes, sports, politics, women and sex. There’s an endless supply of distractions for any young man; gumball machines, pop, t.v., videogames, magazines, comic books, newspapers and sports stuff.

Mid 80s with some rain mixed in and my yard is looking really good. I’ve taken the time to slow down, pay attention and enjoy it. Stopping to smell the roses so-to-speak. It helps to pay attention to the outside world and get out of your own thoughts and concerns if only for a moment here and there. This is true for everyone but especially those walking a black dog.

Just as I was starting to mow the lawn on Saturday my sister called. The nursing home had just called her saying dad was very confused and it “might help if someone would visit him”. No guilt with that last line. She was concerned about him but also felt bad for not going to see him that day. Since they were in the middle of a lake out of town, she asked if I would go?