For my own version of TLC, I need to have some kind of regular anti-anxiety practice. In thinking about how that fits with the whole TLC program, in emulating more primitive people, it seems that their slower pace in life was itself a kind of anti-anxiety practice.

They would get up & go to sleep with the sun, eat healthier, exercise more, have regular sunlight exposure, etc. they were living a simpler lifestyle that was more connected to the natural rhythms of life than our lives are today. Their work was more focused on one thing like growing crops, hunting, fishing, etc. There was no ‘multi-tasking’ to distract them and raise their anxiety level with the increased demand on time, abilities, responsibilities, etc.

When there came a time when they were called on to do other things outside of their daily job, like building a house or barn, then more than likely they were only one of many people from the community to chip in. Think of the Amish and how the entire group comes together to raise a new barn. That type of group effort spreads the work out and greatly decreases the anxiety level.

I remember watching a film in an anthropology class about the Amish. Undoubtedly the Amish have their own set of problems, especially in living such a simple lifestyle so close to contemporary society. Never the less it was pretty well done and at the end of the film the professor asked, “Is there anyone here who would not want to be Amish?”

So here’s a list of suggestions on simplifying and decreasing anxiety in our lives. Enjoy.

1. De-clutter. Getting rid of all the stuff that we tend to accumulate is not only good feng-shui it also helps us feel better. Imagine an extra bedroom or garage that’s so full of crap as to be unusable - now imagine it’s clean and open.
2. Take time every day to do something that only focuses on relaxing your mind and body. Tai Chi, meditation, listening to a relaxation CD, etc. Make this a sacred part of your everyday life. Set aside an area that’s just for your practice (like the bedroom you just cleaned out). Tell your family that this time is yours and you’re not to be disturbed.
3. Simplify. There’s a reason that designers say “KISS, keep it simple stupid.”  Less is more. Look for ways to less.  Doing too much during your day can leave you feeling exhausted, that you have no ‘me’ time and like you’re not getting your primary job done. If you’re constantly hauling your kids around you might think about limiting the sports/activities your child does to just one a season. This way your child realizes that while they are important, they aren’t the center of the universe. They are important but so are you and the rest of the family.
4. Start saying “No.” Afraid your family or friends will stop liking you if you say “no”? Or maybe you don’t want to offend your boss or co-workers? Start setting limits and you’ll find your self-respect goes up. Others will actually respect you more too. It may be easy to say “yes” in the short run and just do things, but your stress will increase as people will naturally start going to you more. Instead of punishing yourself by trying to give 100% or more, try giving only 80 or 90%. You’ll find most people are surprised if they get 60 or 70% so they’ll still be satisfied and you’ll be much less stressed.
5. Practice being financially responsible. When you have a black dog it’s quite easy to put aside your bills, call in sick to work, not start new projects, etc. and just in general put things off. You may also find some kind of rush from spending money on yourself, buying things you really don’t need and/or can’t afford (retail therapy). The long term effect of this is more unpaid bills, more stress and hence a bigger black dog. Start a budget and stay on it. You’ll find you feel better and more in control without having to worry about a bill collector calling.
6. Be responsible to/for yourself. You may feel bad about taking time away from your family or friends because you have to exercise or do other parts of the TLC program, but that’s how you get to feeling better. If you feel better then you are actually more fun to be around when it is time for family and friends.
7. Ask for help. They say pride goes before the fall, so before you fall don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for help. You’re not a Superman (or woman). Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or can’t do it by yourself. Change the way you look at the situation - e.g. if you have a garage packed with crap, asking friends or family members to help is a great way to stay connected or re-connect (increase your TLC social network), make the task easier and more likely to get done. It’s also a good excuse to have a little party - provide a BBQ & drinks after wards (it doesn’t have to be a drudge-filled day!).
8. Slow down. Really. Seriously, stop running around trying to do too much in too little time with too little resources. How many times have you wolfed food down and not really tasted or enjoyed it? The next time you eat try really looking at your food, notice its shape, color & texture, smell it (coffee in the a.m. almost smells better than it tastes), feel it in your mouth, move it around and experience how its taste changes depending on what part of your tongue it’s on . . . - You see where I’m going?
9. Unplug. I have a good friend whom I occasionally email, but he only checks his email once or twice a week! At first this irritated me but then I realized he was maintaining control over his life. While the convenience of cell phones, email and computers has made the task of communicating easier, if we’re not careful we can easily become enslaved by technology. Life is waiting, limit your phone, email, t.v., etc.

It’s all about balance, setting limits and taking care of yourself. If you do, you’ll find yourself starting to come out of the downward spiral of depression and moving in to the upward spiral of feeling better.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 am and is filed under anxiety, fear, stress, therapeutic lifestyle changes T.L.C..