Parental Alienation Strikes Home
October 2nd, 2008
When paying my insurance bill online the other night I checked my profile to make sure the information they had was current. It listed all my family members and there I found my daughter’s name with a new last name. She was now married.
I knew it was coming, just not when. Still, it stings. No one on our side of the family was invited . . . not even her brother. It’s beyond me how this happens.
I asked my son if he knew anything about it and he said, “No. I don’t know why she and mom have to be that way.”
I’ve been around long enough to know there is true evil in this world and while it’s not at the top of the list, Parental Alienation has to be in the top 100.
Losing a child has got to be one of the most painful things a parent goes through.
If you want to know what it’s like take a look at Jim Hueglin’s blog on Parental Alienation and read the left hand column ‘Bereavement Without End’. I couldn’t have said it better.
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:41 am
I’m so sorry you are going thru this horror (being an alienated parent)
I live it daily — I feel your pain!
Each day I wonder if I will be in your shoes– or worse–find out that something horrible happened to one of my children or me and know that I would then never get to tell them the truth of what happened.
It’s been a long journey– lots to learn–even more to digest– but I’ve got it — I now understand the who why what how of parent alienation / dysfuntional enmeshed relationships and the personality disorders driving this kind of child abuse.
I also had to accept my role in allowing this to happen.. but we can save that topic for another chapter..
Best of luck.. and know many other alienated parents feel your pain and grieve with you.
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:12 am
Louise,
It is an ongoing struggle and there seems to be no end to the pain. I’m just so worried about my daughter’s mental health. I won’t go into detail but I’ve heard things through friends/family that lead me to believe she’s not well.
Thank you for comments. Knowing I’m not alone is a comfort but also sad, as I hate to think of others suffering too.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Cosmo … if we keep spreading the word, perhaps someone will listen and act … Jim
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Jim,
God I hope someone will listen and act. It’s a ruthlessly evil act of child abuse.
Thanks for your site!
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 pm
So sorry to hear about this mate, I’m thinking of you from the other side of the world.
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:49 am
Thanks Steve.
I’ve always wanted to visit Australia.
My dad worked with Australian troops when he was in the Army and said he always enjoyed them - that they had a good sense of humor.
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:48 am
I am a mother currently in the process of relinquishing my parental rights so that my son can have half a chance at a normal life. I am the target parent who has raised this boy single handed until 7 months ago when his father, after a 7 year court battle that is still going on, got custody. He has kept me financially in debt so that I have always had to go into the courtroom pro se while his attorney elaborated to the courts what a horrible person I was. I currently have no visitation whatsoever. They are in the process of asking the courts for only supervised visitation at my expense knowing full well I have no money to pay for this. I am certain that their next move will be to tell the courts I have abandoned my son. The banks are currently in the process of foreclosing on my house because I haven’t been able to make my house payments because of the inflated child support payments that the court has ordered my to pay. Soon I will have no home for my child to come home to even if I could have visitation. This all took place in Snohomish County Superior Court in Washington state. In my opinion, it is the most corrupt court in all of the Americas.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 am
My God Tami, I am so sorry for what you’re having to go through. Is there any chance of free or reduced legal help from any agencies? I’ve been through the courts too and can’t imagine the toll 7 years has taken on you. I hope and pray you’re doing what you can to take care of yourself and your needs.
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I make too much money to qualify for any legal help and yet I don’t have enough to pay an attorney. I have been stuck with close to $15000 of his attorneys fees in fines. The courts justify this by saying that it didn’t cost me anything because I was pro se so I should incur 50% of his attorneys fees. I went through the Center for Battered Women but they can’t help me with anything because I am not “physically” battered. I now take medication for my severe depression and when I don’t take it I’m suicidal. There is no such thing as pro bono in this county that I have found.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Tami,
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself & the depression. I know how very stressful divorce & child custody can be - on top of money problems. A good therapist can help. There should be agencies in your area that can do it on a sliding scale.
Hang in there. In time it can get better.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Tami,
I too have endured seven long years of my abuser using the court’s to further his abuse.
Please take a deep breath.. DO NOT relinquish your parental rights… that WILL NOT absolve you from child support and it will ENSURE your ex will use that to emotionally abuse your child(ren).
Learn the law in your State and thank God you don’t qualify for a legal aide– sounds to me like your ex may have some political pull..
Contact me personally if you want to share more of your story and perhaps I can pick up something you may have missed.. I’ve been studying the law’s of my state for years and the things I missed in the first five years blew me away!
Louise
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Tami it sounds like your ex is working the system. I don’t know all the particulars but I have to agree with Louise - don’t relinquish your rights.
It sounds like Louise may be able to help you out.
Thanks Louise!
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Your welcome.. it’s no biggie — I hate what the system is doing to families — it’s part of what I do —
see third row on the link below
http://www.unitedcivilrights.org/UCRCoA_Board.html
Louise Uccio
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:37 pm
You are correct in thinking he had political pull. His first attorney left the case when he got elected Snohomish County Court Commissioner. Within the year he became a Snohomish County Superior Court Judge (Bruce Weiss). Mr. Weiss turned the case over to Mr. Richard Okrent who was then the President of the bar association. These are the 2 I have been up against pro se for 7 years. My son is now 12. Feel free to look up my case. State of Washington Re:Parentage of Zachary Alexander Williams vs William G. Berke and Tamara A Williams.