Time quickly passes
January 12th, 2009There is a Buddhist saying “Time quickly passes and opportunity is soon lost.” It’s meant to encourage the faithful to practice and to remind us we don’t know when or where our life will end and thus lose our opportunity. This message has been all around me over the last several years and visited once again over the weekend.
My father in law suffered a massive stroke Saturday afternoon and died early Sunday morning. It was quick and very unexpected but there was enough time for his entire family to come together around his bed in the hospital. The doctor said he was more or less brain dead so I don’t know if he was aware of anything or not but it was very moving to see everyone hold his hand or stroke his head and talk to him, tell him how much they love him.
I felt so bad for everyone but my heart really broke for one of his grandchildren with whom he was particularly close. He just wept uncontrollably. . .
Last week I wrote about visiting my father and how he was talking to my deceased mom. He didn’t understand why she was “there” and he was “here”. Later that night a bird flew into our house. Birds in the house are supposed to a portent of death (if you believe in that sort of thing). I wondered aloud about the coincidence of dad, mom and the bird in the house. In light of my father in law passing, it does make me wonder a little.
January 12th, 2009 at 10:11 am
I always heard it was a bird flying into a window that was a harbinger of death.
Anyway, sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad three years ago and am still coping with that. My wife lost her grandmother right before the holidays and it was a blow for her.
I do get the point about not missing opportunities because you never really know when your last day is going to be.
Unfortunately, when you are in a depressed state that kind of thinking kind of adds to the burden because you don’t feel like doing anything and then feel guilty because you are wasting what little time you may have left.
Anyway, it’s been a rough winter and it’s only January. Hang in there.
Joe
January 13th, 2009 at 12:25 am
I’m so sorry. Having lost a child at 16 (12 years ago) and my mother at 67 (9 years ago), I know about death that descends suddenly. Tough, tough, tough to sort through.
I have been reading your blog fairly regularly and appreciate your sharing your life and stories. I have been depressed since before I lost my boy, but it’s been much worse since. There are days you will write something when I swear you must have been channeling my thoughts.
Back to the subject of death and loss…..the best book, by far, I have ever read on the topic is a book from last year by Irvin Yalom. It’s called, ‘Staring At The Sun’. I have read it several times and it makes me think in different and deeper ways about death and dying with each reading.
Joe, if interested, write me at writerranger (at) g mail dot com and I will send you a copy. I received two copies of the proof edition before it was published and I also own the hardcover and the Kindle edition(!); obviously I think it’s a special book.
Again, so sorry for the loss.
January 15th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Just to be clear, I wrote “Joe” because I had just read the comment above mine from (surprise) “Joe”….Sorry, Joe, I’m sure you’re a great guy, but I meant the book offer for the author of WTBD.
Peace.
January 16th, 2009 at 5:01 am
Thanks Mike, I would love a copy.
January 16th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I’m so sorry too - Lynne
January 16th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Thanks Lynne,
It’s been a difficult start to the new year.