Things are catching up with me.

January 5th, 2009

My oldest brother needed my help yesterday. Since he retired he bought a Nikon DSLR to fill his time up with. He doesn’t know a lot about computers or cameras so I drove to Topeka to help show him how to download and email his photos. When I was leaving he mentioned that our other brother, who lives in St. Louis, wasn’t going to visit again until March. Our brother-in-law told him that he may want to visit sooner because dad appeared to be going downhill. He’s more frail than he used to be and his Alzeheimers is getting worse.


Biofeedback and Depression

January 3rd, 2009

When I lived in Topeka, KS I had often heard stories about celebrities that were patients at the Menninger Foundation.  In fact when I was a police dispatcher I worked several calls of walk-aways from the hospital along with a few suicides. The hospital was understandably tight-lipped about it. Supposedly Marilyn Monroe was found running around nude in a park near the hospital one night. Oh, Marilyn. Stories tend to get exaggerated over time, but given the messy lives celebrities live I tend to believe a lot of the stories I’ve heard have at least a grain of truth to them.


Amazing Grace

January 1st, 2009

The best friend of my brother-in-law and a man who became a dear friend of our family, died on Christmas day. He was 65 and had only been retired for 3 years. It’s sad to lose anyone but on the very day you plan on celebrating with your family . . . I can’t even imagine.

I’d never been to such a funeral. He was the former fire chief of the city I live in. His funeral was last Tuesday and there were firemen and firetrucks from all over. Such an outpouring of emotion. It was obvious that he was a respected professional and good friend to an awful lot of people.


Monday morning links

December 29th, 2008

Take the test -  see what drawing a house reveals about you (it pretty well nailed me).

Maybe a little late in the season but still good advice for stress during the holidays.

16 things I’d wished they’d taught me in school.

How to be child-like, not childish.

Are you happy?


A Bittersweet Season

December 26th, 2008

All of my family came to celebrate Christmas at our house yesterday. Everyone except of course my daughter. It was expected but it still seems strange to not have her there. The emptiness of not having my daughter a part of our lives will always be a bitter part of any holiday or celebration.

My niece gave her mom & stepdad a small present that when unwrapped revealed a “Baby on board” sign for their car. It took but a moment for them to realize that she was announcing her pregnancy and they both cried at the news. This will be their 4th grandchild, the first from their youngest daughter.


Merry Christmas

December 24th, 2008

If ever any cartoon character epitomized walking the black dog it would have to be Charlie Brown. Despite all that life threw at him - all the kites the trees ate, the baseball games he lost and the footballs that were snatched away . . . he always kept trying.

When life hands you a Charlie Brown life, keep going.

Merry Christmas to you all.


I Loved Her First

December 23rd, 2008

I listened to “I Loved Her First” today . . . It violates my TLC practice (to not listen to blues inducing music) but somehow it seemed appropriate for a sad season. It’s been 2 Christmases since my mom and best friend died.

This will be the 9th Christmas that I’ve not seen or talked to my daughter. While I’ve been off work and out shopping I found myself thinking of her, wondering how she is. Hoping she is well and is happy in her new marriage.

Every present and card I’ve sent to her receives the same response - a deafening silence.


Free Hugs

December 14th, 2008

free hugsAfter Tai Chi class in Kansas City on Saturday I drove down to the Plaza to try and do a little Christmas shopping and to take some photos of the Plaza Christmas banner that my niece designed. It was packed with thousands of shoppers.

free hugsWhile trying to find a parking spot I spied a rather large man (about 6′5″ or more) holding a sign offering free hugs. On the opposite corner were several more people holding similar signs. After finding a parking spot I made my way back to them to take some photos and what the hell - why not get a few hugs too?


The Power of Forgiveness

December 11th, 2008

There is always someone who is worse off than you. We never know when tragedy will strike.

Dong Yun Yoon lost his wife, two children and mother-in-law when a military jet malfunctioned and crashed into their home. I saw this video and was amazed at the man’s incredible grief and at the same time compassion for the pilot.

If you’d like to write him and offer your support:

Dong Yun Yoon
c/o Rev. Kevin Lee
Korean United Methodist Church
3520 Mount Acadia Blvd
San Diego, CA 92111


Remuddling

December 8th, 2008

We recently put in a new counter top and back splash in our kitchen. I did all the work myself and although it was at times a headache, it ended up looking pretty good and was relatively inexpensive. Working on the weekends and a couple of evenings a week it gave me a chance to work on my perfectionism and patience; two things that depression makes worse.

I read the other day that perfectionism is a sure path to insanity. It can absolutely stifle, if not destroy, any endeavor you’re wanting to start whether it’s a relationship, a project at work, or whatever. You know you can’t do it perfectly so why even try? It’s one of the stumbling blocks to my making art.